Not everyone becomes a loving, intuitive parent the moment their baby is born. This is especially true if the pregnancy or delivery (or both!) were really difficult. If your body has struggled and you are suffering, emotionally or physically, it's completely understandable that you may not instantly bond with your baby. Give yourself time with your baby, so you get to know each other.
Others often think they are helping by taking the baby so you can rest. But it can be better if they help by doing the dishes and give you some quiet time alone with your baby - not time spent feeding, bathing or settling, but just being together.
Moments like this can be very powerful in switching on that connection between mother and child, which may have been lost somewhere in all the ‘pushing’ or post-delivery repair.
Parents should give themselves quiet time with their baby, even if it means having a ‘visit time’ or even asking friends and family to give you a few days to get to know each other before the influx of visitors.
When someone tells you to do something with your baby and you think ‘that can’t be right’, trust yourself because you know your baby best. Your gut instincts are definitely there.
However if you feel like you're not connecting with your baby, don’t be hard on yourself. Maybe think about chatting to someone who can help you work your way through it, so you remain kind to yourself as your feelings develop.
Got more questions? Book an appointment to speak with one of our baby specialists.
Author: Helen Stevens. RN. RM. MCHN. Manager of Clinical Services, Education and Research. Parent Infant Consultants. 0411880720.